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How Do You Know If You Are Good In Bed?

Girl on Bed looking out window

Being good in bed can mean different things to different people.  But in general, being good in bed comes down to your ability to give your partner an orgasm. It also means that you can give them pleasure in bed, and put them before yourself to make sure they enjoy your sex together just as much as you do. And, a huge bonus and one that a lot of people love, is being able to climax together. These are not the only ways to tell if you are good in bed, but it is definitely a good place to start.

It doesn’t matter what your relationship status is, or whether you are gay, straight or somewhere in between.  What matters is your ability to please your partner in bed.  So how do you know if you are good in bed?  Here are 5 clues that will help you figure out if you are good or not.

1. Your Partner Tells You That You Are Good (Or Not Good)

This probably sounds really obvious, but it can happen.  If you are satisfying your partner’s sexual needs, they may just come out and tell you!  Easy enough then.  If that is you, probably you can stop reading now.  But if it’s not, then keep on reading.  

It is also possible that, if they work up enough courage, they may come forward and tell you that they are not satisfied with your performance.  If this happens, don’t freak out!  This is your chance to improve your skills, before it’s too late.

Ask them what turns them on.  Are you having oral sex?  Are you good at it?  Do you “finish too soon”?  Get down to what the problem is and how to fix it.  This might feel a little embarrassing at first.  But just put yourself in your partner’s shoes.  If they love and or respect you enough to come forward, and tell you this info, you owe it to them to listen to their criticisms, and do what you can to fix the issue. If you are having performance issues, check out how to last longer in bed.

2.  Their Body Language and Facial Expressions

One of the best ways to tell if you are good in the sack, is to pay attention to your partner’s body language and face during sex.  If they look pleased and really “in the moment” you can pretty much bet they are having a good time. Look for a flush face, a look of ecstasy, and maybe even eyes rolling into the back of their head (all good signs).

But if they look just ordinary or uninterested, that is a huge red flag, and you need to address it ASAP.   If this is happening, then they definitely are not enjoying themselves, and it’s up to YOU to make sure they do from now on.  

If you see this happening, the first thing you should do is STOP!  This will probably surprise them, but you can get some instant feedback by doing this.  Just ask them “hey babe, what can I do to make it feel better?”  They will probably be so surprised by your question, you may just get an “in the moment” honest answer.  Maybe he or she will just tell you what they want you to do.  Or, maybe they can “take over”, and just show you.  

Whatever happens, it’s progress.  The last thing you want to do is ask “Is it feeling good?” or something like that.  That will probably get you a fake yes, and you will not get anywhere and you will continue to suck in bed.

3.  You Hear It As a Rumor

Most likely, this will only apply to you “players” out there or people that sleep around a lot.  If you are in a committed relationship, you can just skip to the next one. But if you’re intrigued, knock yourself out and keep going 😉  If you sleep with a lot of people, then chances are, word will spread quickly amongst others regarding your sexual fortitude skills.  

Obviously this can either work in your favor if you are good, but will quickly work against you if you if you’re not.  If you hear from others that you are good, then I would just take that as a flattering compliment, and keep doing what you are doing!  But if you hear otherwise, PAY ATTENTION!  Instead of taking offense, use this as a chance to learn what you are doing wrong, and figure out how to fix it before everyone finds out you are a lousy lay.

A lot people will ignore this advice, and just keep going on as usual.  But this will backfire later on, when word gets around town, and all of a sudden no one wants to have sex with you.  Trust me on this one, do yourself a favor.  Listen to the criticism, be conscious of your lovers needs, and strive for improvement.  This will pay massive dividends if you are looking to keep having those one night stands.

4.  You Get Cheated On

Going against the title of the article, this is one easy way to tell that you are NOT good in bed.  Depending how long you have been with someone, infidelity can be devastating.  But if you find out the reason was because you were “not enough” in bed, then lesson learned.

The reality is that, not everyone is sexually compatible.  If you lose your lover to someone else because you couldn’t fulfill their sexual needs, then chances are, you probably never could have fulfilled their needs, no matter what you tried and this breakup was inevitable.

Don’t beat yourself up too much over this.  What you need to do is make sure that the next person you are with is more sexually compatible with you.  But if you really want to delve into this more, check out this article on why you were left for someone else.

The best way to deal with this is to prevent it from happening in the first place. If you notice that your partner is not interested anymore, read more on this to find out what you can do about it.

How Do I Know If We Are Sexually Compatible?

Well, its really not that hard.  Just pay attention to these certain aspects of your sex life, and you should be able to determine this with relative ease.

  • Does your partner always want more sex than you do?
  • Do they need to “dress up” or play out a fantasy to get off and you don’t?
  • Can you both climax together?
  • Are you both satisfied with your frequency of sex?
  • Does one of you regularly “turn down” the other one?
  • Do you catch your partner masturbating regularly?
  • Are one of you always flirtatious with others when out?
  • Can you both give each other orgasms easily?

Ask yourself all of these questions.  If one of them stands out in your head, and throws a red flag, pay attention to it.  Chances are, this could be a sign that you are not as sexually compatible as you might think.  Now it is up to you, if you are going to do something about, or just stand by and watch things unfold.

5.  You Have Lots Of Sex

Having a lot of sex can be a pretty easy way to tell that you are good in bed.  This assumes you are in a relationship, as a bunch of one night stands do not count in the same way, because you are always with a different person.

The key difference here is that the same person wants you, ALL THE TIME!  This is a great way to tell if you are good in bed.  No need to wonder, “How Do You Know He Enjoyed It”?  Or, “Does He Think I am Good in Bed”?

If the same person wants you sexually, repeatedly, then you know they must be pretty satisfied with your sex life.  Sure, there is always room for improvement.  You can always spice things up a bit here and there to keep it interesting.  But the main take away is that you are having sex regularly, both you seem to be enjoying it, desirability is high, and neither of you are looking for fulfillment somewhere outside the relationship.  

So What Kind of Lover Are You in Bed?

Be honest with yourself.  Pay close attention to all of the ways mentioned above to tell if you are being a good lover.  This will have a tremendous effect on your love life, now and for the rest of your life.  Everyone deserves to have good sex on the regular.  

Be open to change in patterns, positions, routines that get stale or anything you can do differently that can improve your sex life.  Sex is supposed be fun, EVERY TIME!  The moment it starts feeling too routine or kind of dull, you know you are in a rut.  The last thing you want to do is be a selfish lover.

Use this knowledge as an opportunity to become better in bed and satisfy your partner every time. You will get better and better, the more you hone in on your bedroom skills. Take pride in pleasing your lover, and the sex will always be great.

Photo by Dương Nhân from Pexels

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